i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
