Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
