ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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