Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
