I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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