You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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