Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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