please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
