U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Randomize
