is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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