so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
