How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
