We're facebook friends in real life
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
