508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
