in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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