Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize