Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
