Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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