During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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