The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
never play flip cup with pint glasses
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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