no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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