I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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