Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
