well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
