Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
