Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize