I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
