If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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