We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize