found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
