Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
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