He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
