Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
