I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
