cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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