I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
