i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
