I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
