How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
