I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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