i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
