That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
