Your mouth is God's brothel.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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