You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
