At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
