I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
