Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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