I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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