she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
The feeling are messing with the penis
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
