Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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