You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
