my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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