Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
