I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
