I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
