you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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