She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
