Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
