If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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