Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
