new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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