I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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