So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
