i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
