I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
porn star boner night. come get it.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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