If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
