susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
