i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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