She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
This house was built for laser tag.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
