she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
