i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
