Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
