If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
