im gay
i know
yea but for you.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
