you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
