is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
