Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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