It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
