Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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