The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I want a musical about memes.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
